VORTEX NEWS TEAM WINS PRESTIGIOUS EMMYS
Venerable Award comes as little surprise
Amidst the chaos of recent days, a refulgent touchstone of journalism has pierced the darkness of censorship. The hitherto enigmatic news team behind the “Humans of Vortex” and the ongoing Superteam exposé, are being honored by their peers for exemplifying dauntless investigative reporting.
Despite continuing opprobrium from countless regimes vying for supremacy in the Vortex Competition, the Communications Team has ascended to the pinnacle of news-reporting whilst holding fast to the basic pillars of boots-on-the-ground documentation. Riding a groundswell of popular support, the unflappable news team received their Emmy’s with the matchless grace for which they have become legendary.
“I’d like to thank Tabor Furr B.Arch ’17, Alie Parent B.Arch ‘17,” gushed Emmy recipient Ellie Garside, eyes brimming with tears, “and Asa Esolocker M.LA ’14, for actually winning the Emmy’s.”
By Emmy Award-Winning Embedded Reporter Will Green